SciFi and Fantasy Stories
Printer Version
    

'falling'


 
 

WritingsProfileFavoritesArtworkFanart
Click For MoreDocument 7 out of 11 by Benjamin P. Albrecht.

SciFi and Fantasy Stories: Falling

inspired by a drawing i did, which may or may not be in Lothlorien yet...

    Main Category:   High Fantasy  

Tag As FavoriteComment  Add Bookmark

 
 

Falling

 

               The figure questions and pulls itself down

               Closer to waiting new kin.  Now a frown

Accompanies drying tears on its cheeks.

Now, through the feathers, a bit of scale peeks--

               Next, the warping of the halo at its crown

And now, as a horn, each point the sky seeks.

               Light, from the eyes driven by banishment--

               In its place, cold desire for vengeance sent.

The powerful, helpless thing tears its clothes.

Its mournful cries protest the pain it knows;

               Forbidden wisdom makes its love dormant.

The killing compulsion in its heart grows.

               Its tongue forks.  It loses its hold on right.

               It falls at last into the endless night.

 
 

   © Benjamin P. Albrecht. All rights reserved!

DateNameComment 
13 Jul 200245 Lara Unnerstall
Ah...I've attempted sonnets before, and they're a bit tricky to write, its hard to get a flow going. It seems as though you have no problem with 'em at all...this flows wonderfully, the imagery is great. You've got a knack for this, yes indeed you do.

:-) Benjamin P. Albrecht replies: "thank you! i LOVE getting comments from a fellow artistANDwriter. as for sonnets, i enjoy the writing poems with rigid structures--it's actually easier that way, though logic might tell us it should be harder."
25 Jul 2002:-)
Good stuff 2

:-) Benjamin P. Albrecht replies: "you're right; it's only "good." i write sonnets that my friends and i feel are much better than this, but aren't fantasy; i can't post them. thanx for the compliment."
26 Jul 2002:-)
Hmmm do you have a personal site? *checks your bio*

:-) Benjamin P. Albrecht replies: "i do, but i'm taking it down, because geocities no longer allows you to share written material via briefcase. if you want me to send you one or two, i'll do that."
28 Jul 200245 Oromis at SPD
Another warrior stood once on the edge, and got too close... falling from the edge of time, we are the forgotten, the betrayed, the lost, the hopeless...

:-) Benjamin P. Albrecht replies: "but the real question here is, "who is betraying whom?" often, we know the answer & would rather not admit it."
29 Nov 200245 Jukka Bushtail
Wait a minute...you came on my site and commented on everything, saying it's too depressing. Practice what you preach, mister! Don't ever come snooping round my turf and do that again!

:-) Benjamin P. Albrecht replies: "ah, the righteous indignation of a writer who hates happiness...been there! yeah, even i write sad stuff occasionally. seeking balance...mmm..."
26 Dec 200245 Mallory Stull
It's so sad. But i love it.

:-) Benjamin P. Albrecht replies: "quite to the point. thanks, mal!"
28 Dec 200245 Megan 'Muo Ji' Jenkins
EEh I so *love* your writing style! This inspires me to actually attempt writing again=^^= my English teacher told me that I should continue writing because he liked my style or whatever but I blew him off but this makes me want to write! Excellent! it's a sad story but then, that's all I CAN write and this well, is just fantabulous if i do say so meself^^ *loves making up words* hehehe pretty style though

:-) Benjamin P. Albrecht replies: "thanks! but it is, of course, not my style: it's the style that a lot of poets preferred. it's sonnet! anyway, "demon girl," i really look forward to seeing your writing. or your fanart for that matter (are those pages EVER going to be finished?) thanks!"
16 Feb 200345 L. 'Shanra' Kuepers
*sobs* So sad...

This was really good, Benjamin ^^ It has very stunning and vivid imagery in it. Personally (as you may have noticed) I prefer freeverse, but tis poems like this one that make me regret that I don't regret not being able to write in set forms. But I'll not bore you with my crazy views on poetry and continue with the comment ^^

As I was saying, it's very vivid in imagery, but also very pulling and touching in emotional sense. It has a wonderful flow and it shows you've mastered two things I will never master 12 Rhyme and a set form. Great job on this ^^

:-) Benjamin P. Albrecht replies: "yes, i have realized your preferences, and i'm glad that you and i can have ours and still enjoy the other's style. thanks awfully!"
24 Mar 200345 Maggie 'Rei' Davidson
Jinx might like that one. Or not. That was a bad attempt at a joke. I loves it!

:-) Benjamin P. Albrecht replies: "jinx's rollerblade hits a pebble and he wipes out, face first..."oh no, i'm a fallen angel!""
27 Sep 200345 Elke *Kanthra* Van den Ende
Think it's very good. Keep it up 2

:-) Benjamin P. Albrecht replies: "hey, i'm glad you like it! the "keeping it up..." that's another story."
Page: [1] 2
Not signed in, Add an anonymous comment to this guestbook...    

Your Name: Your Mail:

   Private message? (Info)




Do a search for similar items! (Regarding theme, technique and inspirations)
  • All Rights ReservedAll rights are reserved for the work 'falling' by Benjamin P. Albrecht under Elfwoods all rights reserved copyright policy License.
  • All material posted at Elfwood is covered by the Elfwood Rules. If this page break any rule(s), help us out, and report it to the ERB by clicking here!

  •  
    Elfwood™ is a site for Fantasy and Science Fiction art and stories. It is created by Thomas Abrahamsson and helpful assistants, managed by the Elfwood corporation.
    Need to contact us? Click here.... Our Cookie Policy is here.
    You are visitor 123 to this page since October 2007.